Today is finally the day... and it's only been 8 months! So much has happened in our little corner of the world. When I last posted, little did I know that we were just days away from a major event happening in our family. Feb. 21, just days before my last post, a little girl had been born at the local hospital. We had no idea she had been born, no idea that she would soon come to be a part of our family, and definately no inkling of the way in which she would take root in all our hearts. We recieved a phone call March 1st about a newborn girl in need of a temporary home.
We said yes, and I was required to go spend a night with her in the NICU before we could bring her home. She was such a tiny little thing, and just beautiful. I remember sitting there in the hospital room that night, rocking her and thinking, "You will not be with us long enough for me to fall in love with you." And God laughed. I'm so sure he really did. I so intended to not be attached to little Norah. To just be her "caregiver" and not her mother. Not because I didn't WANT to love her, but simply because I didn't want it to hurt when she left us. Well, what was supposed to be a few weeks, turned into a few months. Mike and I had even decided that if she was with us for a certain amount of time, we would definately tell the folks in charge of her placement that they needed to move her. Well, that "certain amount of time" came and went 2 months ago. Our social worker, as per our request said, "Ok, so what day do we need to move her by?" And I just cried. I had so wanted to be in control of the whole situation, to be able to say, "this is it, you need to find a new place for her now, because if she stays any longer we will just be too attached to her." But I couldn't do it. I told the social worker I would talk to Mike and we would let her know. I think Mike knew all along we wouldn't be able to tell them, "come get her now." The same way he knew after Austin left, when I said, " I don't want to do this foster parent thing anymore," that I didn't mean it. So we talked into the night about what to do.
I cried some more (yes, I am a big crybaby), as I said to him, " I think it will take more faith for us to let her stay and let God determine when she leaves, then for us to say, 'Today's the day, it's time for her to go.' " We called the social worker the next day and said we wanted her to stay as long as they needed her to. And then I hung up the phone...That was 2 months ago, and we are no more certain about Norah's future today then we were then. But we are certain we made the right decision, and we have certainly fallen in love with her. Just as God knew, well before we did, that Norah would come to us, I must remain confident that He knows if and when she will leave. It is not up to us to "control" the situation; instead it is up to us to trust God and lean on Him, and love this amazing little girl for as long as she's with us.
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