What did you say?

From time to time, well actually on a daily basis, my kids say some pretty funny stuff. Too often I don't take the time to write it down, and sadly, these funny moments are often forgotten!
These things may be funny to only me, but I wanted to jot them down anyway...
I posted this first one on facebook, but wanted to leave it here as well.
The girls were part of a children's chorus that sang with the Tupelo Symphony Orchestra this past weekend. Mike, Noah, Lexie and I attended the concert, and as the lights dimmed, a recorded message played..."Please turn off all cell phones, pagers and noise making devices."
Noah quickly leaned Lexie forward-who was sitting on my lap-and began to rub up and down her back. "What are you doing?" I asked. Not even trying to be funny, he answered, "I'm looking for her "off" button." Mike and I just cracked up.

On to the next funny thing..
Mae was re-telling a story she had just read, and often when she re-tells, it is word for word and very lengthy. So on this occasion, my thoughts began to wander after about twenty minutes of her story. Then she said with excitement, "And then, he bit her ear off!!" I quickly came back from wherever I had wandered and with much surprise said, "What?!?"
"In the story I was reading, the boy said he had to tell his mom a secret, and when she leaned down, he bit her ear off." I thought, what on earth has she been reading?!!! I said, "What on earth have you been reading?!!!"
"One of the books on our school shelf." She answered. thinking some bizarre book must have found its way onto my shelf, I asked her what book it was.
"Oh, you know, that one you told me I could read, That one with the pretend stories....what are they called?" She stopped to think. "I think they would be called fiction stories." I said.
"No, they're called something else, like fairy tales, but not fairy tales, but an "F' word."
I was honestly losing my patience quickly, just trying to get the name of the book.
"I don't know." I answered. "Well," she said, "YOU talked to us about the stories, and that they were made up stories, and I just can't remember what they were called, and I can't remember the name of the book." I thought another minute about pretend stories, not fairy tales, that I had talked about.... "Fables?" I asked. "Are you talking about a book of fables?"
The light went on. "Yes!!! That's it!!!" She said, excitedly. "Fables...the book was called....(she paused, trying to remember)... "ASS-Hops Fables!!" She declared it proudly, glad that she had remembered. Mackenzie's head shot up from behind the book she was reading, her eyes big as saucers. Noah dropped his legos and gasped, "Mae, you said a baaaaaad word!!!!!"
I stood stunned for a moment, before it all made sense. "Aesop's Fables...you read EEEEEEEsop's Fables." I stated, emphasizing the "EEEEEEE."
"Oh, so that's how you say it!" Mae said, suddenly a little embarrassed. I made a mental note to self, "Have the Children come show me what they are going to read before they read it...and make sure they can pronounce the title correctly!"
We love things like this at our house...they truly bring out the giggles in everyone.